You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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