Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
