First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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