Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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