I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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