xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
