i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
