I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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