we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize