I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
