There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
