So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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