we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
