Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
