I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
