idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
