she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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