No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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