I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
