Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
