Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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