How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
