dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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