How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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