I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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