Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
