I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
