The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
