i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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