well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
