Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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