margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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