you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
