dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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