I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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