There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize