Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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