Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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