Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
