Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
