I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize