How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
