Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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