from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize