I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
