We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
