Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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