Fuck appropriateness.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
