why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
