We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
