I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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