I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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