u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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