I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
