sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
