Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She told me I should be a condom model.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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