remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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