I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Randomize
