It's Friday. Sex?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
