Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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