i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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