I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
