oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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